What Not to Say to a Stay at Home Mom…

I have been a stay at home mom for almost 5 years and some questions I get asked are hilarious and some comments are surprising.  I feel as if some people think they have nothing in common with a mom who doesn’t work outside the home…Just because we are at home doesn’t mean we are any less intelligent or that we do “nothing” all day.  Here are a few questions/comments that drive me mad…..

  1. “What do you do all day?”…  Well let’s see, I’m constantly playing referee, laundry, cleaning up spills, preparing meals, baths, there are gymnastic classes, swimming lessons, changing bums x 2, finding time to eat myself, grocery shopping, shopping for kids….(okay so some of these things are not every day and there are a lot I forgot to mention I’m sure!)….bottom line, I kept the kids alive!
  2. “Your house must be spotless since you are home all day.”….Hell no!  It’s a like a goddamned tornado struck actually…unless it’s a day where the cleaning lady comes (did I mention how much I love her?….seriously she is like my best friend in the entire universe…)…then it’s like heaven for about 10 minutes before the kids destroy it again!
  3. “You must have so much free time!”….Free time, what’s that?  I can’t even pee without someone staring at me or when the door is closed there are tiny fingers poking underneath trying to get me…I’m sure as they get older I will be able to go to the bathroom alone…
  4. “Will you go back to work once the kids are all in school?”….I cringe when I hear this….Why do so many people ask?  Why does it matter if I go back to work or not?  Is it that much of a struggle to strike up a conversation with a sahm that people have to ask this question…ugh and for the record…no I’m not planning to go outside the home to work.  I am quite busy at home and with little projects I have going on myself.
  5.  “I would be so bored if I had to stay home all day.”….HA! Come live in my house for 24 hours and I promise you, you will not be bored.
  6. “Enjoy every minute.” ….Really?  Every minute?  Like the minute where all of the kids are screaming at eachother?  Like the minute Hailey loses her shit because her sandwich is cut in rectangles instead of triangles (because I’m a mind reader)?, Like the minute where Madison takes off her clothes and pamper and pees on the floor (potty training in progress…)?  How about the minute where Dawson decides to pour his sippy cup all over the floor and splash in it…..or the minute when you can finally sit down to enjoy a semi warm meal but yet again someone demands attention….yeah…

We are not aliens,  I’m sure we have more in common than you think.  Just strike up a normal conversation, don’t make rude comments or ask rude questions.  We all do what we feel is best for our families.  You do you.

 

Why do Kids Have ALL the Energy??

I wish I had as much energy as a toddler.  These little beings are so full of energy it makes me jealous.  Even if they have a rough night (sick with a cold, etc.) they still wake up their regular time, and still go around like zoo animals.  I mean I have energy, yes….like enough to keep my kids alive or fit in a workout to keep my heart going…but these balls of fire are ready to roll as soon as their tiny feet hit the floor in the morning!  Is there some kids of “Magic Energy Fairy” that visits children while they sleep at night and dumps a whole bag of dust on them?  Well she skipped me damnit!!  I don’t get it though, I sleep on average 8 hours a night 95% of the time (which is pretty great considering) … So I shouldn’t complain I know, but I am freakin’ complaining!!

Then there was coffee….

Ahhhhh now I understand what the whole coffee rave was about.  I always watched my friends chug back cup after cup of this magnificent black liquid thinking, “My God, they will never be able to sleep tonight with all of this in their system!”…Before the twins were born I was never much of a coffee drinker (even though years back I did own a café…lol) I was always more of a tea drinker…I found it relaxing and loved the fact that there were sooooo many different teas to choose from…Sorry tea, I still love you but for now I need more of a jolt to get me going in the morning, since I have a small tribe to care for and all…Also when I say I “drink coffee” I mean I only have 1 cup in the morning…yep that’s it…I know moms who drink 5 or 6 even more a day!  Honestly, If I were to drink even half that I wouldn’t be able to blink and I would be awake for days, maybe weeks!  So I’ll keep thinking that just one cup of dark goodness does me wonders in the morning (and lasts at least until lunchtime, if not longer).  Maybe I’m just a lightweight coffee drinker? Lol!  But for now, I will continue waiting for this Energy Fairy to share some of her magic with me…

 

I Talk A Lot!

I talk a lot…I do!!  I don’t mean I’m a little bit of a chatterbox, I mean full-on-talk-your-ears-off-until-you-wish-the-earth-would-just-open-and-swallow-you-up kind of talk a lot.  Remember the show “Blossom” that came on years ago?  Well her friend, Six, is the perfect way to describe me when talking…I can cover so many topics in a very short period of time and I can start probably 5 different conversations and still finish all of them, but not necessarily in the right order….lol.

My biggest problem is once I start a story I go way off track before getting to my point.  I’m sure it drives people mad but hey, that’s me.  If I wrote as much as I speak, I could have 100,000 books written by now!!  Hmmm, something to think about….

I remember when I was in Kindergarten, because this particular incident was traumatizing to me, my class and I were sitting on the rug for story time and a bunch of birds flew past the window.  I was so excited, like any 5 year old probably would be, I jumped up and yelled, “Look at all the birds!!”  I must have frightened the life out of my teacher because she was yelling at me and I can remember just staring at her wide eyed and terrified!  When my mom picked me up that afternoon, I couldn’t wait to leave.  She and my teacher were talking so I’m assuming the teacher told her what happened.  From that day until around grade 4 or 5 my Mom or Dad would have to walk me to my classroom and go right to my seat with me every morning.  I was always the quiet kid in class right through grade school (make no wonder) then after I graduated is when all the talking began!!  It was like a seal was broken after all those years and there was no repairing it.  I would like to see my teacher now and tell her it’s all her fault for my “gift of gab.”  Most, ok all, of my friends (family, husband, kids, neighbours, parents at Hailey’s gymnastics class, cashiers at the supermarket, people at Costco…you get the idea) would find it hard to believe I was ever quiet but, believe it or not, it was once very true…

When Hailey is playing with her toys, making up some big storyline, I’m sitting there listening to her and think to myself, “Geez child you can talk.”…..Then I realize who her mother is…

When the kids are in bed…

How many of you find that once your kids are in bed at night you then do your cleaning, laundry, dishes etc. just so it looks at least presentable for when you get up the next morning??

Realistically, I can’t get a lot of these things completely done during the day with 3 small shadows following me around and for the 27 minutes they may become occupied with toys or play with each other I am either pre-making meals (because that makes my life so much easier), wolfing down a bite to eat myself, trying to grab a quick workout and shower between the twins’ naps or I am scraping food off the floor, ceiling or walls. By the time 8/8:30 arrives and all 3 kids are asleep I am ready to sleep too!!  But I never go to bed at a decent time because I enjoy the quiet house, I enjoy watching Netflix, I enjoy eating a snack without sharing, I love to relax in an Epsom salt bath and I love my face masks (which I can’t wear during the day because I will scare the living daylights out of my children and ruin them for life or what if the doorbell rings and the UPS man shows up and wonders why the hell I’m wearing a green facemask at 2:30 in the afternoon…..true story)….I will deal with being tired in the morning just to enjoy the 3 or 4 hours of bliss at night.  Sounds horrible, hey?  Maybe it does sound bad to some people, but not to me!  For me to be a better parent I need to take time for myself and I see nothing wrong with that!

Ok back on track…….So we now have a cleaner and I love her, I actually do!!  She makes my life that little bit easier and takes that one thing (but one important thing) off my list.  People, I’m sure, think that just because I’m home all day my house should be spotless….HA!  Definitely not, I mean it’s not dirty, I just tell people to walk around the milk spills and mushed up strawberries when they enter my house.  I should have a doormat that reads “Enter at Own Risk” or “Don’t Feed the Animals”…..

Mess drives me crazy, just like clutter, but my children will grow up and I know I will miss cleaning tiny handprints off the glass for the 50th time that day or wiping up milk spills on the floor even brushing the crushed goldfish off the bottom of my feet…the mess can wait it’s not going anywhere (trust me it’s not…) I will continue to clean up and tidy up what I can during the day and night but my kids will always come first.  xo

 

Toys, toys and more toys…

When you walk into our house, it’s like walking into a giant play yard….seriously!  There are toys from one end of the house to the other, upstairs and downstairs.

For people who know me well, I HATE clutter…hate it with a passion!!  It makes me anxious!!  Yes I know I have 3 small children and the toys are here to stay for some time yet but I do miss my living room …yup MY living room.  I miss the tidyness, I miss the fact that I was once able to walk across the floor without goldfish crunching beneath my feet and I miss my coffee table which is now turned up on its side against the wall because the twins think it’s hilarious for both of them to stand on it, whenever they get a few seconds to go for it, and laugh at me while I’m diving across the room to save them before they fall and crack off their teeth or obtain a serious injury!! *sigh*

When we first moved into our house, three years ago, we had all of these ideas and plans on how to finish it.  Jamie wanted a nice bar in the basement, hang his hockey jerseys on the wall, have his big screen tv and surround sound all set up….okay so maybe it was more of a “man cave” for him.  Then upstairs we planned on doing some decorating, doing the wall in the living room with nice stone and maybe getting around to hanging ALL of our pictures (obviously the upstairs was more from me, but hey, that’s fair!).  As of right now, nothing is done inside the house because there are TOO MANY TOYS, as I mentioned.  Even if one or the other, upstairs or downstairs, were free from toys we could at least make the house look like adults live here too.

Maybe ten years from now Hailey will grow out of her giant dollhouse that she got for Christmas, and doesn’t even look at anymore, or she will finally part with every single knick knack she ever owned in the last four years….but then I stop and think Madison and Dawson are only small and will inherit some of Hailey’s toys PLUS other toys and knick knacks on occasions like Christmas, birthdays, even Easter etc…

I know they are children and children love their toys, even if it’s just for a few days, hours, minutes, so for now I will just let the toys take over and become one with them…

 

 

Happy Father’s Day

Since it is Father’s Day today, I would like to say thank you to my husband for being the best daddy to our 3 amazing (but non-stop) children and for everything you do for our family. We live a super busy life right now but we have a lot of laughs along the way.  In the 12 years we have been together (married for almost 6 of those years) there has never been a day where I don’t think how lucky I am to have a man like you.

Love you so much xoxoxo